2/18/18 – Sunday
I got up and downloaded a stupid game app to fill a little bit of my time while I was still waking up. I know I’m replacing one type of addiction with another, but at least cute little dragons don’t fill me with existential dread.
I decided to make homemade strawberry jam. This was completely out of character for me. It was really fun and my daughter helped. I felt really good to make something from scratch that took a long period of focused time.
I read some more. That was nice.
A friend messaged me to ask for something I posted a few days ago. I didn’t have access to it anymore and only sort of remembered what it was. I spent an hour trying to find it online. I felt guilty and upset that I let her down. I thought about reactivating to get the image…I felt guilt. Then I felt sad that she didn’t ask how I was.
I’m eating when I’m not hungry.
I feel lonely still.
I’m still a junkie.